His grace still amazes me

I have a confession to make.  I am not a very good patient.  Patient, as in sick person, individual recovering from surgery, that kind of patient.  I am something of a hypochondriac and I can be Eeyore from time to time, imagining the worst and worrying over things I can’t change.  I’ve spent too much time in the 55 years I’ve been on this earth waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I’m not happy that I’m this way, and I certainly don’t think my gloom and doom honors God very much.  One of my most frequent prayers asks the Lord to help me to trust Him more.  I wonder if He sometimes wants to shake me and tell me that He’s trying if I would just learn the lesson!

This past year has asked me to not only be a good patient, but to lean on that trust more than I’ve ever had to before.  Many of you know that in the past 9 months I’ve been hospitalized with blood clots in my lungs, sat and waited for Scott to come out of triple bypass surgery, and then had a hysterectomy in order to deal with my diagnosis of endometrial cancer.  Our days have been challenging, to say the least, and my fretfulness hasn’t helped any of us.  But then, just when I need them the most, the Lord allows me an epiphany.  You know what an epipany is, right?  one of those unexpected moments of divine revelation when you’re given just a glimpse into the nature of God and how He is working His will out in your life.  In those moments I have been able to see the unfailing love and support that we have received from family and a host of friends.  As Reagan has stated, they have loved on us and taken care of us in ways that simply stagger us from time to time.  Something the doctor says will remind me that God has been in control every step of the way, meeting our needs before we even knew we had them, allowing our recoveries to be uneventful and relatively uncomplicated, blessing us with a generous, loving daughter who refuses to allow me to feel sorry for myself.

His mercy is truly new every morning, and when I stop to notice, His grace to us just stops me in my tracks.  Maybe the answer for me is to try to be more like Tigger and less like Eeyore.  What do you think?

 

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About Janet Mackey

I am a wife, mother, Elementary school Art, Music, and Spanish teacher, and new novelist! We live in Tyler, TX where my husband pastors a small Presbyterian church. My daughter, Reagan, is eleven, and plays basketball and soccer. We share our happily cluttered and busy home with two cats, Max and Dixie, and a Schnauzer/terrier mixed breed named Rusty. In addition to writing, I love to read, scrapbook, quilt, cook, and sing, not necessarily in that order! Thanks for taking a look at my newly acquired blog. Post a comment; I'd love to know what you're thinking.
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One Response to His grace still amazes me

  1. Julie says:

    I’m always blessed and challenged by what you have to say. You’re such a gifted friend and writer.

    I was thinking of you this morning and wanted to check in on your recovery.

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